How Couples In Healthy Relationships

Think you and your partner have really ugly fights? Don’t worry. Even the healthy couples you know once had their share of those, until they learned to tone it down and listen. Here are some ways to tackle LQs better to make peace easier.

1. They talk about things that bother them.Couples in a healthy relationship communicate openly. They don’t think “You should know what’s bothering me” and keep their partners guessing, because they want the issue to be resolved and to be back enjoying each other’s company again. They’re also not afraid of conflict, since they know it comes about in relationships—that it’s normal. So they face their issues head on, bringing it up with their partner at the right time. And by doing that, they’re able to prevent the same issues from getting bigger.

2. They don’t make quick accusations, and neither do they call each other names.Healthy couples trust each other more than they trust anybody else. So when an issue arises, they confront their partners first to know the whole story, rather than believing all the information from a third party. Even if they’re furious, they do their best not to lash out because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings and cause more damage.

3. They take turns talking and speak calmly to each other.Yelling will lead you further away from solving the issue. The aggression that comes from yelling could taunt your partner to fight back, or it could simply hurt him; then you’ll have to do some more damage control.

Talking calmly to resolve the problem ensures that both of you are attentive and respectful; it’s also a way to avoid misunderstandings. Healthy couples do this to listen to what the other person has to say, not to listen for what they want to hear.

4. They don’t bring up past arguments.Those were resolved and have no place in a new argument. Healthy couples learn from old fights—that’s what they carry with them: what they learned about each other and how to avoid the same problem from happening again.

5. They see things from the other person’s point of view.When fighting, neither of you should say what the other should and shouldn’t be feeling, or that it’s wrong to feel a certain emotion. To grow stronger as a couple, you need to understand each other, to see things in his perspective. By letting him see your point of view and understand you, you guide him in cheering you up and he’ll be comforted and assured too.

6. They find a solution that works for them to avoid fighting over the same thing.The tricky part for couples who’ve gotten over the fight is satisfying whatever it is they promised they would or wouldn’t do. If their partner lapsed at something petty, should it be a problem? And if it were to be a problem, would it be a big one or a small one? The answer not only depends on the circumstances, but also on how much you and your partner have grown enough to trust that he loves you no matter what. If in doubt, see #1.

source - http://www.cosmo.ph/sex-relationships/dating-tips/healthy-relationships-fight-a00052-20160623?ref=feed_1

What Not To Do Anymore When You Turn 24

Re-blogging this Life Hack from lifehack.org. Hope you like it! Good read!


What Not To Do Anymore When You Turn 24

Congratulations on making it to 24! You’re still young, but you’re starting to move into fully-mature adulthood. So how exactly should you change you life for the better? Start by following this guide that outlines 10 things you should stop doing right now!

1. Stop buying cheap clothes.

As a teenager and young adult, it’s fine to buy clothes and only wear them a few times, changing them as fashion dictates. However, now you’re older and probably settling into your first serious job, it’s time to start taking style more seriously. Invest in a few key pieces rather than buying a new wardrobe every few weeks.

2. Stop dating unsuitable ones.

It can be hard to find someone worthy of your time and attention, but by the time you reach your mid-twenties, you should have a better idea about what you need in a partner. Don’t waste your time on experimenting with people who you know, deep down, are not right for you. Strike a balance between being realistic and being too willing to give people a chance.

3. Stop caring what other people think.

It’s human nature to worry about what other people think of us, and no-one likes to feel as though they are being judged or criticized. However, being overly concerned with others’ opinions can cause you to lose sleep and even sacrifice your cherished dreams and ambitions in favour of living someone else’s idea of a great life. Trust your own judgement first and foremost.

4. Stop blaming your parents.

Sure, no-one’s parents are perfect and yours probably made their fair share of mistakes. However, it’s too easy to fall into the trap of blaming your parents or your upbringing for any current issues you may have. This isn’t productive, and will sour familial relationships.

5. Stop holding onto old hopes and dreams.

Are you guilty of holding onto aspirations that you really would be best off releasing? It may be time to trade in your old goals and ambitions for newer, more realistic aims. This doesn’t mean you have to give up on your vision of an ideal life, just that you need to keep your aspirations realistic.

6. Stop living in denial about your finances.

Those years when you could get away with being oblivious to the intricacies of your financial situation are over. It’s time to get responsible and set up a decent savings account, together with a pension plan if you haven’t got one already.

7. Stop being too nice.

This is an extension of Point 3, above, but deserves its own point. Stop people-pleasing. By your age, you should have a good idea of what you are capable of, and where your limits are. Learning how to say ‘no’ is an important step on the road to maturity.

8. Stop wasting so much time on the internet.

This is a tough one. These days, it seems as though everyone is addicted to the internet. We use it to find information, keep in touch with friends…and most of the time just browse social media unconsciously…wasting plenty of time. Learn to set time limits for yourself. You could even try one completely internet-free day per week.

9. Stop taking your health and fitness for granted.

Most of us can subject our bodies to late nights, too much alcohol and excessive junk food in college without feeling the after-effects. Unfortunately, as you move into your mid-twenties and then into your thirties, your body isn’t quite up to the task any more. Time to start eating more healthily and limiting those wild late nights!

10. Stop being messy.

How many hours have you lost looking for your wallet, cell or keys? Make this the year you finally start getting your possessions in order. Nothing makes you feel more mature than knowing exactly where your stuff is.

source: http://www.lifehack.org/388171/what-not-to-do-anymore-when-you-turn-24?ref=fbp&n=1